I feel like shit. was made to feel that way n its working actually. feel sad, depressed, tired, disgusted, sick of myself, pathetic, helpless, restless. so many feelings put together. and i even know why. still amazed that it struck this hard. like nothing u do is good enough. its never enough even if u take it bit by bit. as if the intention was to shut u down from the beginning.
That everything was a lie. every compliment, gift, laugh, polite gesture or even a smile. that everything u said, did, ur kindness, patience, all the efforts to be there whenever ur needed, all of it was jes disregarded and forgotten. that it didnt mean shit in the end. And it was obvious that if it was any other person, they wouldve cracked and done terrible things after being sick of it all. and since i didnt stoop that low, that was the problem which was taken. the complain which was complained.
All cos of sumthing which wasnt even ur fault. but still u were the one to suffer for it all. Even after that u were put thru tests one after the other each one getting harder and made to choose from the most difficult of choices. when u did the right thing and came thru, u find that it didnt matter which choices u made or what u did. it all came down to the same end. that at the end u were forced into jes one thing. the thing uve been trying and fighting so hard to avoid for over a year. that it was all a waste. the feeling of being used over n over again jes cos u kept doing the right thing??? that u were hated over n over again for that? oh wait. not HATE. jes made sick to the stomach to see u, hear u or even see a txt msg from u.lol. i guess we need to re-define the word 'hate'.
Maybe this is the point where i go to the toilet, close my eyes, clench my fists and scream at the top of my voice "PEEEEKAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOO". heheh. here's the story behind it.
A small boy went to read quran to a teacher. the teacher kept correcting him over n over again. he said he needed to go to the toilet after a while. soon the teacher herd the scream "peeekaachoooo". soon afterwards the little boy came back with a smile on his face. when he was asked what happened, he said that in a cartoon he watched they said that it would help ur anger if u did that. and that it really worked.hehe.
Hmmmm, so this must be what dad felt like few weeks back with the whole 'sis' thing.
13 comments:
hmmmmmmmmm....when..
ummmmmmmmmmm...what
how....dude wats the story....
awww...heii.. u're a super guy.. super super friend.. n u're very strong indeed.. gud that u shared this.. just dont let it get u all down n low..
hehe. i'm learnin too..
tc k.. :)now smile :D
dont worry abt the shit, it keeps happening to every one. i got few words for u
dedication determination for a better situation
peekaachoo...
hmm will try it sometime O.o
arra. u need to hear this. thats Y im putting this up as anonymous. No one deserves to be treated like u were by her. she's still treating u like shit after everything u did. and ur still being the nice guy. i wouldve broken bones by now. i really wouldve done something to her. rangalhu vegenneh ekahala meehunnakah nuvisneyne. ehery thimaa ah thimaa fenifa. thimaa varuge meehaku dhuniye matheega nethigen eulheny. u were too nice to her and u cared too much.i still cant believe ur patience. im impressed. she doesnt deserve to be anyone's friend k? cos the way she treated is jes inhuman. who in the right mind would not want to be friends with someone who was her bestfriend in the whole world? :s. especially since u didnt mistreat her or anything like that. not jes that. she's the one who did all those stuff to u and ur still trying to be her friend. if she valued the friendship u two had in the past, if she valued all the times u were there for her no questions asked,if she valued even a single time she put u thru all those shit and u still tried to make her see the right from the wrong instead of going medieval on her, she wouldnt be like this now. i know u dont like ppl talking bad about her and that u try to defend her but this is the truth. ur an awesome guy arra. dont let her get u down. cheer up.
starky:i guess by anonymous's comment u'll know what its about. some more shit to be added to that. and jes when things were finally starting to look up. keehkuraany. hama hinhama nujheny ey if things go smoothly.
freespirit: thanx. jes a few days since we've started to know each other. even so, im glad u feel that way. hope u'll continue feeling that way :)
phenol: dedication determination for a better situation? hehe. niiice. i liiiike.
dragonfly:do try it. it works.....sometimes. well, hadnt had the need to try it till now.heheh. but i heard it works. will definitely make urself seem silly and bring a laugh at the end of the screaming, but will defnitely take the frustration away for the moment.heheh.
anonymous:couldnt figure out who u were. it was meant to be that way viyya dho?hehe. but u know u couldve said it to my face too. jes wonderng why thru the blog. neways, glad u got it out of UR system.hehe. i know ur right. ekamu keeh kuraany dho. its jes me. *pout*hehe
ok i get it.....will talk abt this later(somehow i always seem to misterpret things)..when i get back dho...hehehe
how annoying. I vote you throw a f***en PIE at her.
Personally, I prefer jacketed hollow point rounds, but...
PPEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKAAAAAAACHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111 desu.
get a grip. you deserve better.
lol. hehehe. afey afey afey. wait till phenol sees that comment.heheh. i told him that the anonymous comment isnt u, that u'd b more hardcore.heheh. im glad u moved on dude. u were real lucky that it didnt work out. i know im gonna do jes fine too. and im glad it didnt work out with me too. cos look what she's become after that too. heheh. komme kamehves vaanee rangalhakashey. and afey, i think uve got the wrong idea abt the post dude. its not that. will tell ya k. hope everythings ok over there. im going there in dec. ;)
aslu? inthizaaru kuraanan. kaley nufennathaa ves haadha dhuvahekey dho. balaaekey. adhi neynge mashah maake fennaani kon dhuvahakun kameh ves. moodheh lolah nufennaathee dhera vanee. anekaa dhivehi bitun vareh nuvey mi loakudhi aathunneh heheh....ahannah heevany anna aharu medheh hisaabuga hen dheveynee. miulhen jehenee neyvaa nulaa. college ehaa balaabodu. assignments due vey komme hafthaa akun haftha akun. ekamu dhen ok,mihaaru miyothee aadhevifa, shakuvaa kurumun vaane faidhaa eh noanaane. dhen vaanee hama hivvaru koggen..hehhee naththu annaan safaru kaiydha govain tuesday ga...
noor: yea, i remember the advice i gave.hehe. too bad i cant take my own advice huh? rnt u a bit late with this comment? :p Afterall, ur the one who witnessed what happened the night i wrote the post first hand dho?hehe. i bet i freaked u out huh?hehe
yea tell me abt it:P..oh n yea dat nite dho...advice keehkuran i cudnt say anythin expt uhh and emm erey...first tym u eva left me speechless hehe..well better late then never dho! =)
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