Almost everything is managed nowadays by computers. Yet the parents of today are not familiar with computers, in the same way there was an explosion of knowledge after 1949 and the parents did not know anything about modern mathematics or electronics. So, as man makes giant strides in knowledge, each generation is left behind.
What does this make of the parent-young relationship? There is a growing tendency for the young person to think he is better than his parents, better educated, more knowledgeable. He tends to patronize his parents. And above all he feels he should be given his freedom long before he is earning his own living.
Along with all the advances has been the invasion of forces that tend to defy moral values that have been in existence for a long time. There is drug addiction, alcoholism, trial marriages, the pill which gives sexual licence. What is the parent’s role in all this? Or is the young person right when he claims he can cope with the problems of today.
There are two schools of thought. There is the strict parent who, because he controls the purse strings, demands absolute obedience. As the children grow older and begin to earn their own living, they have become so used to obeying their parents that the parents continue to dominate their lives. These children usually are well behaves, good mannered and nice boys and girls. However, one or two of the younger ones may rebel and become ‘black sheep’, and they usually turn out to be the drug addicts and problem-ridden persons.
Then there are permissive parents, themselves well educated and liberal in their views. They may not agree with their children’s views but they feel that their children are entitled to their views, and do not stand in their way. They have to stand by and watch their children make mistakes and learn by their mistakes. They could have stopped their children but they believe that their children were entitled to their freedom. The children of these parents grow up strong and self-reliant but often bitter and rather self-opinionated.
I suppose what we need are wise parents who demand a certain amount of obedience and a given amount of liberty. If they think their children are headed for the rocks they should step in and demand obedience until that particular crisis is past. On matters that seem important to children they should be liberal within reason. And knowing more facts than the parents does not make children wiser than their parents. This should make it clear that in a dead-lock issue they should consult others, other young people and other parents.
But I think it most important that parents make the children feel secure, give them the feeling that they will always support them. And parents above all want love from the children more than respect. Children never realise that parents become frightened if the children assume power. When they are frightened the parents demand respect in unreasonable situations.
And parents should realise that when children become frightened they become disobedient, alienated; they fail to tell their parents the real problem that is worrying them. And above all, in human relationship there must be a give-and-take attitude or the rope will snap.
What do u think?
6 comments:
nice article. and there is a mistake (i think) : para 6/lines6,7.
haha..now going to the point.well, we need balance in everything.we should teach our children values,and help them build their character (instead of feed them manners and building their character the way you want).after all a parent is supposed to be a guardian...not an umpire!but the so called 'liberal' parents you have mentioned are crazy, they are ruining their own lives and their childrens'.and the problem with most old parents are that they are not aware of their childrens world, but children should not be proud and show that to them,or make them feel it.because the speed of development, is not their fault.and i think most parents,especially traditional dads demand respect from children,which results in a bad relationship with his children......hey this is supposed to be a comment,not a blogpost.so; gtg.cya,bye.tc. errr.. this is not even msn.aaaaaaaagh!this was a written at the end of a busy week.i need a rest.
cant agree more...
i wish my parents were like that!
hmmm, kaiza shozey: (what does this mean?)
I agree that a parent-child relationship needs to be a compromise. But i do not agree with the stereotypes and generalizations that I see in your writing.
there is no two schools of thought, saying that is wrong, you cannot classify the wide range of relationships that are complex into two schools.
permissive parents children do not always become strong and self reliant, neither do they become bitter and self-opinionated. Infact I have seen the opposite happening. Many children of such parents become drug addicts and the dregs of society.
what is well-behaved? a good muslim who prays, gets a job, never speaks out their mind? this is the trend i've observed in such "nice boys and girls". I do not think this makes them nice boys and girls, but rather unhealthy people who do not think for themselves.
My parents were strict and i can classify myself as a black sheep, neither am i drug addict or problem ridden.
I think various things determine who a child becomes, and though parents play a big part, they arent the only crucial thing. there is peers/ education/ attitudes/ society/environment and so many more
Great Blog: I really enjoyed reading much of it!!!
(I hope you don't take offense at my rather opinionated comment. I do not mean to put you down or be demeaning, I tend to be very frank while i make comments, Cheers)
@moyameehaa: thanx for the correction. i didnt see it even after i checked it before twice. thats before u pointed it out.hehe
@i-kko: hopefully they will be one day. have patience.u know that ur parents are jes doing what they feel is right for u with the best of intentions right? jes give them some more time :)
@dhiyey: Finally someone who voices his (i think its a 'he') opinions the way he wants to without jes agreeing to whatever is written on it to be on their good sides or whatever. nah. i didnt take it the wrong way, im not that kind of person. im glad u liked the post and yea, ofcourse there will be some gaps here and there. thats why im looking for comments.u gave some very good points. im impressed. thanx :)
thank u all who commented despite the fact that it was soooo loooong. :)
@dhiyey: sorreeee. its a 'she' dho? sowweeeee.
Nice post. And guess what the funny stuff is?. Its hard to believe, but there are more narrow minded people than even you have outlined. The "If they don't know about it, its evil." crowd.
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