Compromise

Compromise. Something which I believe defines the outcome or the longevity of a marriage or relationship. We all have faults and flaws. We’ve all gone through different circumstances as we grew up and faced different problems which contributed to defining how we turned out to be. So its no surprise that each one of us are different in our own way. There’s no two ppl whose gone through everything exactly the same and who has exactly the same likes and dislikes. Something I like to say a lot which I think kind of applies here as well : “Your favourite colour might be red while mine might be blue. That doesn’t mean since I like blue better than red, that you should feel the same way as I do. So I shouldn’t have a problem with you favouring red over blue the same as you shouldn’t have a problem with me favouring blue over red”.

When we meet someone we always try to portray the good side of ourselves to them. Especially to the opposite sex as you want them to be impressed. We rarely show our mess ups and most of the time we try to show to them what they want to see in us. But sooner or later the binds are open. Especially once you start a relationship or go further. That’s when you’re faced with a choice. Just how much of his/her behaviour which might not be totally to your liking are you willing to compromise for the better good or for the long run? In my opinion most of our expectations are too high. We want everything. The perfect guy/girl. There’s no such thing. It all comes down to compromising. Whether if you believe he/she is worth compromising those stuff that’s not to your liking and how much of it you are willing to compromise. This is again the point where we are divided into certain groups depending on our level of compromise. Or our tolerance in others. Maybe jes how stuck up we really are. Or jes how much hope and faith you can muster into something. Or how little something really means to you. Some may even call it the moment of truth. All these days in your attempts to impress others you’ve been trying to show more good/tolerance/patience etc than whom you really are. But when you’re faced with this so called ‘moment of truth’, that’s when the real you comes out into the open.

I believe a certain degree of compromise MUST be there from both partners in order for something special to work out. A story a wise man once told me. “lets say my wife likes to keep my wallet open whenever I keep it at home. But I want it to be closed all the time. And since I tell her that all the time she puts some effort into it and left it half closed one day. Its still not how I wanted it to be as I want to see it fully closed. I know that she wants it open but nevertheless she has made an effort and closed it halfway. So instead of complaining like I usually do I say to myself that this’ll be enough for me. That she doesn’t need to close it fully.” And that my friends is how a relationship or a marriage will work out. When both the guy and the girl puts an effort into the relationship and when there’s compromise involved from both sides. Or else you’re jes being arrogant and selfish.

And to those people who feel like their opinions, likes and dislikes mean everything over everyone else’s, you need to take a close look at yourselves. You’ve got so many flaws too. Physical, mental, status, wealth etc etc. We all do. There’s nothing special about you over everyone else. Be glad that you’ve met someone or people who are willing to compromise all your flaws, people who chose to disregard all your short comings. Those are the people that really matter. So hold them close before you realize too late that you’re all alone with just a handful of people who are struggling to put up the face that they really care for you and understand you. You never know when they would reach their limits as well and abandon you. But the problem we face is that we hold on to the saying “I am who I am. If you dont accept me for who I am then you don’t matter to me”. We take that saying in the wrong way. People whose heads are way up in the sky and feel that the world must revolve around them. So learn to compromise. Its not that hard. :p