A simple example. Look at the people that go abroad for studies. Those friends and relatives of yours that uve known your whole life. Those people that once upon a time shared talks about such issues and talked against it…some of them whose even preached about it. Then you see them finish their O’Ls and A’Ls and go abroad for further studies away from their families and relatives. After a year of living life on their own with almost total freedom, to be able to go to whore houses, to be able to go to the bar and buy drinks, to be able to bring whomever they want over to their own apartment where they’re alone to do whatever they want, and when they’re able to use weed etc without that fear in the back of their mind that a family member or relative might come in any moment.
After all that when you meet them and start to get to know that relative and friend what do you find out? That almost every single one of them have gotten into atleast one of the above mentioned. Some even all of it. And you can tell that somewhere within MOST of them, they feel guilty and ashamed about it. So much that they try everything they can to hide it from the people they hold dear. Even upto the point of taking extreme measures to ensure their secrets and im not talking about murder here. :p but doing unspeakable acts to top those ones they’ve already succumbed to. Or even minor ones where they make up lies about those people who know the truth and try to keep them away from those that haven’t seen what’s behind those curtains.
And when they explain their experiences this is how most of it goes.
*Alcohol: I went with my friends to a bar to have fun. They all drink but I never do. And anyway its not a problem for me to go to a bar as long as I don’t drink right? Im just there to have fun and help my friends out if they need me. I didn’t wanna be a spoil sport. I had full confidence that I wouldn’t succumb to it. But one day they offered me a drink. OR one day I was so messed up about my bf/gf/exams/life/blah/blah, I wanted to try it. To see what it was that was so addictive about it. To see why people seem to like it so much. So I thought id have just one drink and that was it. It went like that for a month or so and before I knew it I was one of the GANG. And they all cheered for me and was so proud. They liked me so much that they later even took me when they were going to use weed at a friends place. I felt so connected with my FRIENDS.
*Sex: I went out with my Maldivian friends among whom there were some chicks. We started talking and hanging out. She was having probs with her bf and I was having probs with my gf. We started talking and we found out that we had so much in common. And we were always there for each other whenever we needed it.(not to mention the fact that she was probably one of 3 maldivians that i even knew who lived there with me). One night she broke up with her bf and was crying. I went to console her and before we knew it one thing led to another. Back in male’ when I make out there was always that thought in the back of my head that someone might come in any minute. But that wasn’t there. And it felt great that I was free of it. Plus she was so hot when she was wearing those clothes she said she was ashamed to wear back home as people would tease her and cos her parents would feel ashamed. And she was so sexy the way she moved her humps when we danced at the disco which made me so hot for her. So we started making out and once you start its hard to stop. Before we knew it we were having sex. And boy was that feeling awesome. How can one EVER regret having sex.
Pretty much the same story as the first one for weed etc. for testing it out just once or to fit in. and once uve succumbed to it that conscience within you that gives you that guilty feeling slowly fades away and abandons you.
So I wonder how life would be if that situation were to arise. Im talking about the situation where alcohol and weed are readily available to anyone. Some of them can barely stand those urges even during the time they are back in male’ for holidays for a month or so. now lets imagine how life would be in Maldives or how the life of the Maldivians would be like in say 20years time. But that’s for another time I guess. Ive babbled enough for now. Hehe.
12 comments:
interesting post. even though I see your point, I must also disagree to a certain extent. I have been living alone for the past few years with no relatives to scold me, nor any friends from my old life. when i could have done so many things, I've chosen not to do so. You see, if one is afraid of Allah genuinely, then it is easy, albeit challenging, to stay away from the things you have mentioned. Not only that, but also one must follow what s/he have learned in the religion of whom to keep as a friend. The Prophet salla'allahu aleyhi wa'salam has likened a good friend to that of spending time with a perfume merchant, and that of a bad friend to a metal worker (with his blower). The former just by spending time with his friend will smell of perfume and the latter would come out with spark burn or with dust. So, even though it is hard to stay away from all the bad things you have mentioned, it is also important to keep in mind that what we know must be put into action, i.e. knowledge of our religion.
And Allah knows best
hmmm interesting
but let me point out a few things.
1. Don't just dismiss the Western Values. Because, as Maldivians we seem to be learning all the negative ones, and not the positive values.
2. Movies, I think Maldivians watch enough of Both English AND Hindhi Movies. I wonder where the thoughts of revenge, evil people (especially if you are an in law) come froms?
3. Way before western movies came around, Maldives had started slowing getting into the habits of consuming alcohol and drugs.
4. How come in those countries that alcohol are legal and socially accepted (which is most of the countries in the world) that we don't find all drunkards? and yeah where everybody is having sex with everyone else? [be honest, the only place that there is so much cheating and sex going on is Maldives!]
5. why can't people differentiate between movies and reality? are we always taught that westerners are bad? then why are we not taught what is good? where did our own moral education go to?
6. maybe some people who go abroad lose themselves and their values, but isn't it becuase to begin with they dind't have strong sense of who they are and what they believe in?
and here I go again, shooting my mouth off! I'll stop now, heheh but I still haven't finished ....
@anonymous: ummm....so what were u disagreeing about? ofcourse i wasnt generalising. thats why i was careful to put the word 'most' throughout the post. else even i would be included right? ;) hehe.
and yes, u are right. thats the problem isnt it? we dont have enough faith. and not enough control. it takes such a short time for most of us to succumb to those urges.
@athena:by all means. please dont stop. i wanna hear the rest. i totally agree with most of those points uve mentioned. especially the first one which ive implied even in the post. its mainly Maldivians. no moral values or self control.
well i dont know if it's only Maldivians. I have lived in a western country for a few years now. I also have met many other muslims. There are some among them also who succumb to these urges and the funny part is like you said they try to hide it from every other muslim.
As anony said it all comes down to faith. isn't it?
Well WE all know you won't do any of the wrong things...O HOLy MAn..(plus how are you gonna get laid with all the girl troubles you got on your back)
@ahmed: yea, maybe they're ashamed or jes jes hate themselves for it.
@anonymous: heheh. seems like ive hit a nerve. hehe. if it helps, u arent the only one whose lost it :)
Lost What
its easier to preach than practice and easier said than done.. and frankly speaking you really have to be in the persons shoes to know what the person really felt.. we might not have been any better off or our decisions might have been even worse who knows.. :)
afraid i have to disagree on that. cos thats a justification that can be used by everyone to justify pretty much everything they CHOOSE to do in life. there has been alot of ppl who has actually resisted those temptations or urges.
i believe it all comes down to faith and choice. when the time comes one chooses not to succumb to it while the other chooses the opposite.
I think one is as vulnerable to it (in terms of succumbing) staying in Male' as going abroad or even interacting with people who've gone abroad... Sometimes a lot of good comes from having made a mistake, and makes you and your faith that much stronger than having backed away (and yet the curiousity keeps building) ... I don't know if I make complete sense to you.. but there is a point in there somewhere.. Heheh..
-Am blogging again btw...
yea, u did make some sense in there. hehe. but i gues its the point where u realise that u have made a mistake and acknowledge it that the good comes from it. good to see u bloggin again. i have yet to start. got another test tomorrow. damn.
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