Impacts: 2: Money and Friends

It was a Question that my dad asked me few months back which got me thinking and counting. He asked “how much money have you got since you came back from aussie?”. So there I was calculating everything and the amount that came shocked the jeepers outta me. It was OVER Rf110,000. Then I looked at how much ive saved. A mere Rf10,000. Where did the Rf100,000 go to? I never bought anything solid for myself except a speaker set, a 2nd hand phone and an external hard drive(that’s what came to mind). So where did the rest of the money go to? DEFINITELY over 40,000 for the phone bill. 1/3 to call friends mainly when they need council or consoling or whatever.2/3 on my gf(I blame dhiraagu on this one. if only that had this free numbers offer back then). And the rest on dinners, treats and gifts for my friends and gf. Boy was I a stupid fuck! Even before i went to Australia that’s how I had been living my life. Spending just like that….for others. Never said what im about to say now though. I was firm in what I did and never regretted it. But im telling this now. “I REGRET it now!”

There has been a lot of changes after that.....and all for the better. And there are gonna be more changes along the way. So take my advice if u think it makes sense.

*Don’t spend so much on ur gf. If u wanna call her all the time take a silver package from dhiraagu so that u can send her number as the free number and ull get to call her 24/7 for FREE.

*If u wanna get her presents don’t go for the expensive ones. Go for more meaningful stuff. Be it YOUR OWN wordings engraved on a plate, small souvenirs of her taste and liking or small stuff that’s linked to her life or would make sense to her.

*If u have to bring her friends along with her when ur taking her out, just pay for urself and her. Let her friends cover up their own expenses. Or if that aint possible don’t go to fancy restaurants, just go for pizza or drinks. Or u can even try something like ‘kafa lolly’. The important thing is not the filling of their tummies. Its having a great and fun time.

*Do the same even with ur friends. If they are really ur friends they would pick a piece of the bill each. Or when they get their salaries they would give treats as well.

*Mathin bain meehunnah gulhaa nahadhaathi. And don’t try to persuade ppl to come to coffees with you or so. Call those ppl who would call back and not give miss calls even if its something they want. And when going out to coffees send an sms or give a call to the ppl coming and let them know when and where. Uve done ur part. Coming or not is up to them.

*Don’t try to change their priorities. Depending on ppl’s reactions you change YOUR priorities of them. Ppl come and go. So does friends. Just cling on the ones that really matter and who puts an effort on their side into that friendship or circle. Those who fade away…..try once or twice and then let them go. Ur better off without them. More will come along ur way. Not ur loss. THEIR loss.

*Don’t let ppl tell you what to do or not to do, what to wear and not, how to talk or not. If u wanna smoke, go right ahead. If it be in secret from ur parents or not. Ur time to be open about it will one day come. Till then, whats stopping you. Dress the way u wanna and live ur life the way u wanna. Ur own taste in music, ur own choice of drinks at coffees even if its entirely something diff from the rest of ur gang. Don’t try to fit in to their liking. IF u don’t wanna smoke despite everyone else is, just don’t smoke. If they are real friends they’ll accept you for who you are. Its ur life not theirs. And it shouldn’t stop you from hanging out with ur friends.

*don’t try to find friends who shares all the same beliefs or whatever u want. Ull know when a friend comes your way. Just accept him for who he is. Not for his likes and dislikes. More like ur likes and dislikes.

*Ppl change all the time. Just because they change it doesn’t mean you have to push them away.

*if there’s something bugging you even about your friend, just say it to their face. And if ur gonna cut off a friend who only sees you in their times of need or for another reason as such, make sure you give them a lecture of a lifetime before doing so. Doesn’t mean you have to use filth. Just state ur points and the reasons for it, the number of chances you’ve given be it 2nd or 3rd or whatever.

*And for god’s sake start saving some money. If u really cant then do this. Open two accounts and make a certain amount be transferred to the second account from the first one each time you get ur salary. So the minute your salary gets to the first account the selected amount will bounce to the second account. Then use the first one for ur expenses and make sure you don’t take a cash card etc for the 2nd one. Pretend it doesn’t even exist except in an emergency. And emergency doesn’t count coffees or spending on ur gf. :p

*Money makes up this world you live in. who knows when ull urgently need a huge amount. Be it for medical purposes or for ur further studies or even if u need to take some time off for a vacation.

*Ur friends always come before ur gf. Heres what a friend of mine told me. “In the words “boyfriend/girlfriend” and “bestfriend”, the order of the second letter determines my priority. Since the letter ‘E’ comes before ‘O’ or ‘I’ in the alphabet ill always choose my bestfriends over my boyfriend. I did the opposite once and have now learned my lesson.” Its just something she says. And I think its nice.

*even if ur married she shouldn’t stop you from hanging out with ur friends. Find such a wife. If its too late now, just be reasonable and explain to her in a calm way. Im sure she will understand that ur whole life doesn’t revolve around her EVEN if she’s ur wife. If she doesn’t then just grow some balls and say it to her face that no matter what you WILL meet ur friends. Its not like ur gonna be hanging out with them everyday. Try to make it atleast once a week. That’s not too much to ask for from a friend.

*take friends from the opposite sex even if you have a gf or wife. Don’t let them stop you. Its not like ur banging them or anything. Ur just friends. Tell ur wife that ull bang her to her hearts content. Just becos she lets you bang her doesn’t mean ur gonna let yourself be her puppet. She has to respect your freedom as well. Which includes ur choice of friends. AS LONG as you don’t go beyond the line.

*if you have anyone whom uve wronged or treated badly. Even if its someone whose stopped talking to you years ago, just swallow that damn pride of urs and go talk to the person. Make an apology. And don’t just send an sms or call up and say ‘sorry’. Mean it. You don’t want negative vibes on ur conscience. BUT if its someone that definitely deserved it, dont bother. Ull know inside if that person is worth giving an apology to or not.

*Have fun. Take vacations. Make new friends. And spend on urself for the stuff you WANT. Enjoy what life has to offer. Be nice to ur parents, visit ur relatives, be nice to ur friends and love whatever religion ur in or ur beliefs. Be STRONG in those beliefs and put more effort into it. Who knows when ur time to die will come. That’s a path every single one of us will have to face. Be it a hindhu, muslim, atheist, Christian etc. we will all die sooner or later. So just live life to the fullest and let urself be remembered as someone everyone that mattered to you adored and loved. Someone who has made such an impact on others that you will always be remembered and someone upon whom those ppl will always pray for and praise even if ur no longer alive.