Some basics on "How to cheat on your Bf"

*Most Maldivian girls cant go out and be with guys without a lot of Questions arising. So you wanna be bringing him over to your place saying he’s a close ‘friend’. And chose the limited time you can go out for special occasions and ‘purposes’ which you cant obviously do at home.

*Tell your bf that he is a close friend of yours and hint him how your previous bf was really obsessive and over protective of you keeping you away from your guy friends. Tell him how much you had hated that quality. He’ll get the hint and will try to be understanding and trusting.

*So he’ll let you hang out with this friend and call him. Just don’t tell him that you do it all the time and don’t talk about that guy much unless you want your bf to be suspicious about this certain guy.

*Don’t worry much about your phone and the records as most guys have this pride about them which prevents them from going through your phone. You can adjust it depending on what kind of guy he is as some of them can be pretty weird.

*It’s a good thing to let the guy know about your bf as guys don’t really care about it that much as long as they can get ‘some’ or atleast if they know they would get ‘some’ after you breakup with your bf.

*But you can always hide the fact that you have a bf if you aren’t sure about your relationship and if you need him as a back up incase you have to breakup. Don’t want him to label you as “just a friend” now do you? Which might make it harder for the guy to make a move on you after you breakup, especially if you’re the type who usually lets the guy do the seeking. Or he might even go hit on some other girl.

*It’s a good thing to let your bf know that other friends will also be there when you’re going out with the guy to lower his suspicions. Afterall, you’re going out to hang out with a group of friends

*Tell this guy about your relationship stressing on all the problems you guys face and how incompatible you guys are. Most of the time he’ll agree with you. Its easy to do. For example you can always pin on him being either obsessive or not caring enough. There’s no mid point. Its one of those ;)

*It’s a good thing to not bring this guy to meet your closest friends as mentioned before in the previous post, they might mess it up for you. Or if the guy finds out that you’re occupied he might hit on one of your friends.heheh. That should be fun. Lol.

*To put it simple, if you want him just for ‘that’, its best to let him know. Most guys wont give a damn as long as they can get some. So its alot easier with guys.

*If your bf finds out or is suspicious show him some extra 'love'(you know what i mean) and he'll easily give in. ;)

*Heres something you can say to your bf if you're really upto it. If he complains about you hanging out and calling this guy,point out that you're in a relationship with him and not this other guy. That you're kissing(to make it sound more nice) him and not the other guy. that you're only meeting him to 'talk' as a 'friend'.

*The good thing about girls is that unlike guys, only a few of them wanna have affairs(unless they are married ofcourse as that’s a totally different thing).*whistle whistle*. Most of them like keeping back ups incase their current relationship ends. Like the old saying goes “jassaane gaagandeh balaanulaa udhussaa nugannaashey”

*Im sure you can gather the rest from the previous post which applies to this one as well.

Some basics on "How to cheat on your Gf"

First off, don’t go around telling people that you aren’t single. Keep it hush hush. Try to tell as few ppl as possible. Ur a guy. Ur gf wont be coming over to ur place everyday to see u. its gonna be the other way around. So that’s gonna be a bit easier to manage with lesser Questions from ppl.

Now when u find another girl, make sure she is of a different batch than ur gf. Many of the girls in male’ study at the same schools and are bound to know or would’ve heard of each other if they are in the same batch. Or atleast have a friend who knows her. So pick someone of a different batch. Or you can just go to facebook and check the friends in common. Facebook can be VERY helpful at times. ;) You can even check to see if her closest friends know the other girl too. Or even her closest friends.

Never mention ur gf’s name to her or her name to ur gf unless there’s no other way. Even if you have to mention either just say it’s a close friend.

Don’t bring ur gf into ur circle of close friends or this other girl either. Your friends might slip up and mention the other or if they know ur cheating on her, one of them might decide to go all noble on ur arse and tell her which would bring a couple of headaches and complications along ur way.

Try not to go out cycling or go out that often. Try as much as you can to stay indoors. Plus that’s mainly how you’d be getting what you really want. If either of them asks whom you were with at a certain time that day indicating she might’ve seen you with the other girl, don’t lie and make up a story. But say you went with a friend to drop her home or went to dinner with a friend you haven’t seen in a long time. Something totally innocent. Because if she really did see you and you lied saying u weren’t with a girl, you’re going down. Unless she’s stupid enough to believe you over what she saw with her own eyes.

Drop that need to brag to your friends about it. Even if you do, keep names and details about them a secret. You don’t want them accidentally bumping into the girls and befriending them. Guys have a weakness to sell out their friends if it brings him a step closer to getting to her. No matter how close a friend he might be.

Don’t be corny and write nicknames such as ‘love’ , ‘hon’ etc in ur phone book regarding either. And for god’s sake remember to regularly delete sms’s from either as well as the call record. Don’t just delete the whole list. Only calls from and to either of them. And don’t keep pictures or videos in ur phone either. That has come to bite a lot of guy’s in the arse when the girl starts searching their phones and seeing all that.

Have a bit of a schedule in ur head. And try to allocate a time for either of them that ofcourse doesn’t coincide. Try to keep an hr in between so that neither of them will be calling you while ur with the other as ur running late. And let her know that ur going to be with friends at that time and that they tease you if she calls or sms’s saying she’s got u on a leash. That way she wont call you when ur with the other girl. And let her know that you don’t like it when she asks too many Questions as if she is being suspicious.

Shower her with talks of trust and love. If she starts to suspect and begin asking Qs, use the tactic ‘Denial’. And then go to the ‘trust’ story. “What? You don’t trust me? I love you. And if you can’t trust me then how can this relationship survive? I totally trust you. Why cant you?”. Don’t worry. She’ll feel guilty enough to stop asking Qs and believe everything you say in a day or two.

In the event that either of them finds out about the cheating in some weird way, and if u don’t have a logical way out just agree to it. Then give lots of excuses and vows that it was your first time, you were weak but it will never happen again. To give you a second chance. Beg and even shed a fake tear or two if you have to. Showing that ur emotional about it tends to make her think you really love her and that its ok to make a mistake. Be extra careful these couple of days. Atleast until uve regained her trust.

Think of complications that may arise and be careful. Always keep in your mind whom you would choose if you had to. So if it all blows up, you can quickly ditch the other and show extra care and love to the one you want saying she had always been the one for you. The one you really loved. The other girl was jes a friend who fell for you and was trying to distant you from ur true love.

Hope you enjoyed the read. Hopefully the next one will be “How to cheat on your Bf”

Hope you laugh ur arse off

THE FOLLOWING ARE THE TOP STORIES ON THE NEWS

*The great Jamboanee, eccentric human cannonball known for taking his lucky donkey to all of his performances escaped near tragedy today when the donkey climbed into the cannon muzzle just as Jamboanee was taking off. It took the surgeons 3 hrs to remove Jamboanee’s head from his Ass. Both are resting comfortably.

*A fight was started downtown by a man wearing a suit made completely of mirrors. The police said the man apologized once he had time to sit down and reflect.

*Donors are wanted for a man whose buttocks were blown off in an industrial accident. Doctors report “no end in sight”

*Nine out of ten Maldivians believe that out of ten people, one will always disagree with the other nine.

*Wives live longer than husbands because they are not married to women

*60’s musical group “the birds” today announced their 24th city re-union tour with their new band member George W.Bush. To save on money, Mr.Bush will play both guitar and drums. According to a spokesman, "a Bush in the band is worth two in the Birds".

*Psychic convention cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances

*A man is still in critical condition after swallowing 250,000 dollars in large bills. No change is expected

*95year old Fred Skippy was found NOT guilty today of sexual harassment. The 95yr old however was charged with “assault with a dead weapon”

*Convicted hitman Jimmy two shoes mc.Cardy, confessed today that he was once hired to beat a cow to death in a rice field using only two small porcelain figures. Police admit that this may be the first known case of a Knick Knack Paddy Wack.

*NASA sends probe to Uranus. People everywhere giggle.

let me know if u didnt get any(highly doubt that happening). *whistle whistle*

Grrrrr

Damn i hate this. all these damn medical tests. tests tests tests. blood, urine, x-rays, scans. Already over Rf6000 worth of TESTS. And does anyone know what the test with those wires or so are connected arround your heart(on the external skin ofcourse) do? something about the nervous system around the heart? or something to do with the pumping of blood through veins? anyone know anythin about it?
Next thing i know they'd be sticking a tube up my arse. That would be the day. lol.

Fire Fighting

We recently had an advanced fire fighting course done. Believe me. Theres a HUGE difference from what we see in movies and the real thing. There was a replica of a part of a ship with three compartments and a tunnel. The whole purpose of the course was to train us to be a scene leader and incharge of such an operation and exposure to different scenarios. So each time, four guys would be allocated to be the fire teams(two in each team), who would go prep up for entry by putting on all the protective wear and breathing apparatus. The others would be helping with the boundary cooling(spraying of water from the outside to bring about a cooling effect and also used to find the locations of the burning fires inside).

When the first team had gotten ready, their air cylinder pressures would be taken to calculate an estimated amount of time they would be able to be inside before their air ran out. At first I thought it would be simple. I mean afterall, you go in there with the hose and just put out the fire right? And then you look around for the missing persons(dummys) and just carry them out one by one. How hard can it be right?

Well, one guy’s holding the fire hose and a torch while the other guy is helping him with the hose and maintaining communication with the outside. But the minute you go in there with this rather heavy gas cylinder on your back with a tight gas mask on your face, helmet, fire jacket and gloves on, its obviously really difficult to move about as you would without them. Its dark as hell in there. Not to mention the heat that can be felt despite the jacket and protective gear. Even when you shine the torch, its light reaches only about one and a half feet away from the torch due to all the smoke that’s continuously being released from the blazing fire. And you haven’t even located the fire yet. So you’re moving step by step dragging all these stuff along with you, feeling around with your feet and hands trying to find casualties in there(who are supposedly unconscious as they are dummies ofcourse). Your heartbeat is racing. You’re feeling claustrophobic and its hot as hell. By now you’re basically panting meaning that you’re using up more and more air.

So once you’ve finally located the fire you put on the hose and actually have to go at it till the fire is completely extinguished as its really easy for the fire to burn up again after a couple of seconds if you don’t. Once your air is almost replenished, you make your way back step by step trying not to hit urself against a pipe or trip over. When you’re out, the next team goes in and you’re supposed to change the cylinders with new ones and prepare the sets after doing all the necessary checks and make ready to go back in as soon as the other team comes out. It was excruciating. But by the end of the next day we had gotten pretty used to it and found easier ways to deal with the problems we face while in there. So overall I guess it was a really exciting course.

And to think that these were controlled fires that couldn’t spread more than a certain area. Not to mention the fact that by the time you go in there a few times, you’re familiar with the place and more aware of where to search and the layout of the spaces and floors. But still it was a huge challenge. Now I think of all those real fires which are ALOT bigger in size, temperature and magnitude that are occurring. The firefighters are going into places they have never seen before in their entire life with ALOT more smoke having the fear that the roof or floor might cave in at any given time. Not to mention how rapidly fires can spread and grow. So my hats off to all the brave firefighters who actually risk their own lives DAILY, jes so that they could rescue complete strangers. Good luck to all the guys who did the course. Great job out there. Hope the crew I have to work with are as competent and reliable as you guys. 

To tell or not to tell

Im sure uve been in a situation where someone has come asking for your advice regarding his relationship. You had reliable information that he was being cheated on which you felt he should know about. The first time round you tell him honestly what you know and how you know and give your opinion about it. You could care less about the other person in the relationship. Lets say your friend listens to you, makes up his decision and goes off. But in the end he goes and does the complete opposite of it even when he found out you were telling the truth. Furthermore he rats you out saying you were the one who told him what had been hidden to him and had adviced him to do this and this, BUT how he overcame it and chose to do the opposite all for love. You jes let it slide saying he was weak and that he'd regret it later which he does. Because like we say "effulhah mathin fummaali bakari aneh fulhah mathinves fummaalaane". And that ccomes to bite your friend in the arse after things had messed up alot.

Later on the same kind of problem happens with another friend. This cycle continues and after a couple of rather disappointing scenarios you look back. And you see that for example only two person from the six ppl that came for that advice actually took it. the others all regretted it later but in the process burnt ur arse and made you turn out to be the bad guy. But the only two friends who actually took the advice were ever so thankful.

But then you start thinking about the whole thing. Whether if its really worth it all. You ask yourself why in the world you're getting involved. Would it have been better if you had jes kept out of it? Or jes pretended you didnt know anything? You start changing your views about it. Because as for the last one who came, you told him that you've encountered this problem before. That this and this had happened. That you didnt want to get involved in it....telling him the scenarios one of which was bound to happen, all in which you would turn out to be the bad guy. But you also feel that since he is your friend you have a right to tell him the truth and let him decide for himself what to do from thereforth no matter how messy it might get. so due to his persistence you tell him what you know and it turned out you were right again. One of the scenarios you explained came to be afterall. So then you start thinking. Screw it! You could care less about what happened. Its not your life, its not your problem. They've got a brain, they can think up a way and act on their own.

Then suddenly out of nowhere and more than a year after the incident one of those friends who had listened to you and was grateful for it sends you an sms. Thanking you for what you did back then. That he was grateful for it saying that now he realises jes how tough it wouldve been for you back then. All the doubts in your mind when you push yourself to come to that decision without simply brushing it off. As he had now faced that same situation with a friend of his.

So think about it all a bit. Was it really worth it all for those two that emerged despite the other four that didnt? Do you think you shouldnt have told any of them?It surely wouldve been easier and less complicated for you that way. Think deep about it all before you come to that decision. :)

Lying and Cheating in a Marriage(2 of 2)

By now she is complaining to her friends as well that this and that is happening to her life and marriage seeking comfort from them on what to do and how to proceed. Complaining what an asshole her husband is and how could he be doing this to her and their child. They all give her the advice she needs. She listens to it all and assures them that she would stand her ground. But everytime at the very end she turns tail and runs off being subdued by the husband. And ends up saying that she doesn’t have proof that she is being cheated on, and that she has to think about her child and whats to become of him if she were to get a divorce. She starts having doubts if anyone would accept her as after the divorce she would come in a package. She is afraid of a lot of things which are quite understandable.

Now I come to the point of all this. Look ppl. If u wanna get a divorce and don’t want to live in a life filled with lies and cheating anymore, quit your whining and do something about it. Make a stand and actually walk the walk. But if ur too weak or decide to say “im doing this for my child and I still don’t have solid proof”, then quit whining about your husbands. We’d agree that you aren’t being cheated on and that everythin would be great if that’s what you really wanna hear. So go back to living that life in denial with that voice in the back of ur mind telling you over and over again that ur being lied to and that ur being cheated on. Im sure even if u saw ur husband butt naked with another woman you would find some way to convince yourself otherwise. Women all over the world are being oppressed and taken advantage of by men. Why? Don’t blame it on the men. You let yourselves be in that situation. No one can change that life for you until you make a stand for it. So don’t go around blaming men for your mistakes.

Now id like to direct you to something “dhondhooni” wrote on her blog
“there's this couple. they had been married atleast for more than 8 years. they have four kids too. what happened is that, recently this lady had a miscarriage during the fourth month of her pregnancy and apparently she had some bleeding problem for quite a number of days. [during which apparently they wouldn't be doing THE sexual stuff].

here comes the best part. apparently, this lady got so depressed about not being able to satisfy his man sexually, she actually went [at noon] and brought some girl FOR her husband to satisfy him! yes, this is true!” –dhondhooni.blogspot.com-
P.S- to all those ppl who had experienced such a thing happening to a friend of yours. Don’t butt in. Give them your advice as a friend and let things be from that part on. Don’t try to be a saint or convince her over and over again. There’s no use trying to fill water into a tank with a hole in it if she isn’t willing to put the plug on that hole. Mind your own business and step aside before u get hit with “you cant possibly understand my situation. I have a child and im married”. It’s the same if it’s the other way around and that it’s the wife who is doing the cheating. Unfortunately I met a guy with 2 kids whose wife was shagging the young man who was brought to their place to help with the house chores. He would sometimes come home to hear her shagging him on his bed. He would sit down and wait in the sitting room until they finish. All for the sake of his two kids. She would actually know her husband is outside but would finish up before coming out. Sad and pathetic.