RESTLESS

I lay on my bed. I couldn’t go to sleep. I was lying on my bed for so long….thinking about her. I just couldn’t sleep. Her face. Her eyes. Her smile. I closed my eyes and they just kept circling in front of me. I couldn’t get rid of the face no matter how hard I tried. Maybe it was because I didn’t want to get rid of such a beautiful sight.

I woke up feeling hot all over. Immediately the thoughts came surging back into my head like a glass of milk pouring into a bowl of cereal. Though I was sweating all over, my heart was shivering with cold. And I felt an emptiness inside me. My heartbeats were so strange. And so loud. I couldn’t stop it no matter how hard I tried. I just wanted to wrap my hands around my heart to make the cold go away. Though I barely slept the past days, I wasn’t one bit sleepy. I was lying on my bed, feeling light as a feather….floating.

There was darkness everywhere. Complete darkness all around me. Suddenly a speck of light could be seen from a distance. I started running towards the light. And there she was. The same sparkling eyes and angel smile. She was floating so gracefully just above the ground in the whitest of robes. Her long wavy black hair swayed ever so gently. Her pink lips could mesmerize even the most hesitant men. Her creamy white skin and her slim figure was breathtaking. She was possibly the greatest of God’s creations….so perfect. The mere sight of her filled my heart with light. So much joy….so much happiness. I looked deep into her gleaming eyes….into a different world. A world full of happiness….joy….and love. Huge fountains of honey and milk. The ground was covered in white pebbles, sapphires and diamonds. There wasn’t a speck of dust anywhere. The most wonderful light filled the whole place. There were trees of all types bearing the ripest of fruits. They looked so juicy and mouthwatering. The whole place was decorated with the most exotic flowers. In a distance buildings could be seen. No!….not just buildings. Castles!….castles made of bricks of gold and silver fashioned with jewels and pearls. So beautiful….so breathtaking. Who says that heaven isn’t a place on Earth?

There I was….looking at heaven through the eyes of the most graceful of God’s creations. I slowly stretched my hand towards her. And there was not a soul who could blame me for wanting her so bad. But do I deserve such beauty?….such magnificence?
The moment she saw me stretching my hand towards her, her smile slowly faded. And she started floating away from me. I cried out but there was no sound. No reply. I tried desperately to run towards her. But my legs were frozen in place. I felt the life being drained out of me as she moved further and further away from me. And I was helpless in stopping her. Darkness slowly closed in upon me in all directions. I was able to move once again. But she was nowhere in sight. I fell down on my knees. I felt my eyes watering. Slowly and painfully tears of blood slowly rolled down my cheeks. I felt so helpless….lonely….scared.

All life had been drained from my body. I felt weak and vulnerable. What did I do wrong? I didn’t deserve such sorrow. I never knew it was wrong to fall in love….wrong to want something so bad. How could she torture my heart like this? She turned away from me after showing me that she was the gateway to heaven on earth. I banged my fists on the small pool of blood that was forming on the floor. The darkness slowly devoured me.

Lost in thought, the days turned into months and months into years. My love for her didn’t change a bit. If anything had changed, it was time….and my health. Eventually, her thoughts would be the death of me. What would I have achieved then?….nothing. When I die, my soul would leave my body with the loss of two worlds……….