Some basics on "How to cheat on your Bf"

*Most Maldivian girls cant go out and be with guys without a lot of Questions arising. So you wanna be bringing him over to your place saying he’s a close ‘friend’. And chose the limited time you can go out for special occasions and ‘purposes’ which you cant obviously do at home.

*Tell your bf that he is a close friend of yours and hint him how your previous bf was really obsessive and over protective of you keeping you away from your guy friends. Tell him how much you had hated that quality. He’ll get the hint and will try to be understanding and trusting.

*So he’ll let you hang out with this friend and call him. Just don’t tell him that you do it all the time and don’t talk about that guy much unless you want your bf to be suspicious about this certain guy.

*Don’t worry much about your phone and the records as most guys have this pride about them which prevents them from going through your phone. You can adjust it depending on what kind of guy he is as some of them can be pretty weird.

*It’s a good thing to let the guy know about your bf as guys don’t really care about it that much as long as they can get ‘some’ or atleast if they know they would get ‘some’ after you breakup with your bf.

*But you can always hide the fact that you have a bf if you aren’t sure about your relationship and if you need him as a back up incase you have to breakup. Don’t want him to label you as “just a friend” now do you? Which might make it harder for the guy to make a move on you after you breakup, especially if you’re the type who usually lets the guy do the seeking. Or he might even go hit on some other girl.

*It’s a good thing to let your bf know that other friends will also be there when you’re going out with the guy to lower his suspicions. Afterall, you’re going out to hang out with a group of friends

*Tell this guy about your relationship stressing on all the problems you guys face and how incompatible you guys are. Most of the time he’ll agree with you. Its easy to do. For example you can always pin on him being either obsessive or not caring enough. There’s no mid point. Its one of those ;)

*It’s a good thing to not bring this guy to meet your closest friends as mentioned before in the previous post, they might mess it up for you. Or if the guy finds out that you’re occupied he might hit on one of your friends.heheh. That should be fun. Lol.

*To put it simple, if you want him just for ‘that’, its best to let him know. Most guys wont give a damn as long as they can get some. So its alot easier with guys.

*If your bf finds out or is suspicious show him some extra 'love'(you know what i mean) and he'll easily give in. ;)

*Heres something you can say to your bf if you're really upto it. If he complains about you hanging out and calling this guy,point out that you're in a relationship with him and not this other guy. That you're kissing(to make it sound more nice) him and not the other guy. that you're only meeting him to 'talk' as a 'friend'.

*The good thing about girls is that unlike guys, only a few of them wanna have affairs(unless they are married ofcourse as that’s a totally different thing).*whistle whistle*. Most of them like keeping back ups incase their current relationship ends. Like the old saying goes “jassaane gaagandeh balaanulaa udhussaa nugannaashey”

*Im sure you can gather the rest from the previous post which applies to this one as well.

Some basics on "How to cheat on your Gf"

First off, don’t go around telling people that you aren’t single. Keep it hush hush. Try to tell as few ppl as possible. Ur a guy. Ur gf wont be coming over to ur place everyday to see u. its gonna be the other way around. So that’s gonna be a bit easier to manage with lesser Questions from ppl.

Now when u find another girl, make sure she is of a different batch than ur gf. Many of the girls in male’ study at the same schools and are bound to know or would’ve heard of each other if they are in the same batch. Or atleast have a friend who knows her. So pick someone of a different batch. Or you can just go to facebook and check the friends in common. Facebook can be VERY helpful at times. ;) You can even check to see if her closest friends know the other girl too. Or even her closest friends.

Never mention ur gf’s name to her or her name to ur gf unless there’s no other way. Even if you have to mention either just say it’s a close friend.

Don’t bring ur gf into ur circle of close friends or this other girl either. Your friends might slip up and mention the other or if they know ur cheating on her, one of them might decide to go all noble on ur arse and tell her which would bring a couple of headaches and complications along ur way.

Try not to go out cycling or go out that often. Try as much as you can to stay indoors. Plus that’s mainly how you’d be getting what you really want. If either of them asks whom you were with at a certain time that day indicating she might’ve seen you with the other girl, don’t lie and make up a story. But say you went with a friend to drop her home or went to dinner with a friend you haven’t seen in a long time. Something totally innocent. Because if she really did see you and you lied saying u weren’t with a girl, you’re going down. Unless she’s stupid enough to believe you over what she saw with her own eyes.

Drop that need to brag to your friends about it. Even if you do, keep names and details about them a secret. You don’t want them accidentally bumping into the girls and befriending them. Guys have a weakness to sell out their friends if it brings him a step closer to getting to her. No matter how close a friend he might be.

Don’t be corny and write nicknames such as ‘love’ , ‘hon’ etc in ur phone book regarding either. And for god’s sake remember to regularly delete sms’s from either as well as the call record. Don’t just delete the whole list. Only calls from and to either of them. And don’t keep pictures or videos in ur phone either. That has come to bite a lot of guy’s in the arse when the girl starts searching their phones and seeing all that.

Have a bit of a schedule in ur head. And try to allocate a time for either of them that ofcourse doesn’t coincide. Try to keep an hr in between so that neither of them will be calling you while ur with the other as ur running late. And let her know that ur going to be with friends at that time and that they tease you if she calls or sms’s saying she’s got u on a leash. That way she wont call you when ur with the other girl. And let her know that you don’t like it when she asks too many Questions as if she is being suspicious.

Shower her with talks of trust and love. If she starts to suspect and begin asking Qs, use the tactic ‘Denial’. And then go to the ‘trust’ story. “What? You don’t trust me? I love you. And if you can’t trust me then how can this relationship survive? I totally trust you. Why cant you?”. Don’t worry. She’ll feel guilty enough to stop asking Qs and believe everything you say in a day or two.

In the event that either of them finds out about the cheating in some weird way, and if u don’t have a logical way out just agree to it. Then give lots of excuses and vows that it was your first time, you were weak but it will never happen again. To give you a second chance. Beg and even shed a fake tear or two if you have to. Showing that ur emotional about it tends to make her think you really love her and that its ok to make a mistake. Be extra careful these couple of days. Atleast until uve regained her trust.

Think of complications that may arise and be careful. Always keep in your mind whom you would choose if you had to. So if it all blows up, you can quickly ditch the other and show extra care and love to the one you want saying she had always been the one for you. The one you really loved. The other girl was jes a friend who fell for you and was trying to distant you from ur true love.

Hope you enjoyed the read. Hopefully the next one will be “How to cheat on your Bf”

Hope you laugh ur arse off

THE FOLLOWING ARE THE TOP STORIES ON THE NEWS

*The great Jamboanee, eccentric human cannonball known for taking his lucky donkey to all of his performances escaped near tragedy today when the donkey climbed into the cannon muzzle just as Jamboanee was taking off. It took the surgeons 3 hrs to remove Jamboanee’s head from his Ass. Both are resting comfortably.

*A fight was started downtown by a man wearing a suit made completely of mirrors. The police said the man apologized once he had time to sit down and reflect.

*Donors are wanted for a man whose buttocks were blown off in an industrial accident. Doctors report “no end in sight”

*Nine out of ten Maldivians believe that out of ten people, one will always disagree with the other nine.

*Wives live longer than husbands because they are not married to women

*60’s musical group “the birds” today announced their 24th city re-union tour with their new band member George W.Bush. To save on money, Mr.Bush will play both guitar and drums. According to a spokesman, "a Bush in the band is worth two in the Birds".

*Psychic convention cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances

*A man is still in critical condition after swallowing 250,000 dollars in large bills. No change is expected

*95year old Fred Skippy was found NOT guilty today of sexual harassment. The 95yr old however was charged with “assault with a dead weapon”

*Convicted hitman Jimmy two shoes mc.Cardy, confessed today that he was once hired to beat a cow to death in a rice field using only two small porcelain figures. Police admit that this may be the first known case of a Knick Knack Paddy Wack.

*NASA sends probe to Uranus. People everywhere giggle.

let me know if u didnt get any(highly doubt that happening). *whistle whistle*

Grrrrr

Damn i hate this. all these damn medical tests. tests tests tests. blood, urine, x-rays, scans. Already over Rf6000 worth of TESTS. And does anyone know what the test with those wires or so are connected arround your heart(on the external skin ofcourse) do? something about the nervous system around the heart? or something to do with the pumping of blood through veins? anyone know anythin about it?
Next thing i know they'd be sticking a tube up my arse. That would be the day. lol.