DOUBT

A woman was gossiping to a friend about a man she hardly knew. That night she had a dream. A great hand appeared over her and pointed down on her. She was immediately seized with an overwhelmingly sense of guilt. The next day she went to confession. She went to the old priest and told him everything.

“Is gossiping a sin?” she asked the old man.
“Was that the hand of god almighty pointing the finger at me? Should I be asking for your absolution father? Tell me. Have I done something wrong?”.
“Yes!” the priest answered her.
“Yes! You ignorant woman! You’ve born false witness against your neighbor. You’ve played fast and loose with his reputation. You should be ashamed!”.

So the woman said she was sorry and asked for forgiveness.

“Not so fast!” said the priest.
“I want you to go home, take a pillow upon your roof. Cut it open with a knife. And return here to me”.

So the woman went home, took a pillow off her bed, a knife off the drawer, took the fire escape to the roof and stabbed the pillow. Then she went back to the old priest as instructed.

“Did you gut the pillow with a knife?” he says.
“Yes father”.
“And what was the result?”.
“Feathers” she said.
“Feathers?” he repeated.
“Feathers everywhere father”
“Now, I want you to go back and gather up every last feather that flew out in the wind”.
“Well…..it cant be done” she said. “I don’t know where they went. The wind took them all over”.
“And THAT….” said the priest “….is gossip!”



-The movie “Doubt”-

Is life fair?

People say a lot that we are all equal and life is fair. But then again is it really? I mean on one side a child gets born to a very poor family and grows up in the slums without being able to pursue a good education and struggling to make ends meet while the other gets born into a rich family without getting to experience what it means to work for a living or to go hungry even for a day. Getting a good education and in time a luxurious life. They are both human beings who were born into two very different lives which would shape them into who they would grow up to be.

Can we really judge the kid who came from the poor family for stealing or taking a wrong turn in life. Afterall, he has been exposed to a lot more misfortunes and has a much greater probability of choosing a wrong path. So are we all equal in that respect and is life really fair? Ofcourse it isn’t. what then? Does it also mean that when they are judged for their actions by god that they would be judged equally? Or does that blame of his actions go to the rest of the ppl surrounding those kids? Or the people responsible for leading him in the wrong direction? The ppl who didn’t give him the advise he needed? Then what of the kid’s actions when he grows up? Are both kids judged in the same manner after they come of age?

Or is the issue more complicated than that? Is it the sins of the parents that are passed down onto their kids? People who’ve mistreated, stolen, cheated, assaulted etc. all those people who haven’t paid their dues in life, all the people who didn’t get caught. Will they all be judged in the hereafter or does some of it show in their lives as well? In their children and how they grow up maybe. But then again it brings us to what ive said earlier. Is it the fault of the kid to inherit misfortunes due to the actions of his parents?

But that is the case isn’t it. If our parents are well known among everyone as being pious, hard working, honest and sincere we their kids automatically gain respect from those ppl as well for being the children of our parents. Same goes for parents whose made a bad name for themselves. Even their kids are automatically judged by ppl as “THAT man’s child. He’ll be no good either. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”. It doesn’t matter how different the child is from the father. Only few ppl see that.

Then what about ppl who are born into a different religion? They have known all their life a different religion and have been taught that religion to be the perfect way in life. He might spend his whole life only hearing about a religion called Islam with no knowledge about it whatsoever. Would he be judged the same way as a man who grew up being a muslim his whole life with every opportunity to learn about the religion from ppl around him etc? Is it their fault in any way as to where or in which kind of environment he had to grow up in?

What about ppl whose spent their entire lives devoted to helping the poor and saving the oppressed? Those people who didn’t believe in Islam? Or those ppl that jes didn’t get that opportunity in their lives to study and learn abt this specific religion out of so many more out there? If they cant go to heaven jes because they didn’t get the chance or didn’t get to learn abt a specific religion and believing it would that still be just? How will they be judged? Jes like how a muslim would be?

Reality Stranger than Fiction

There was this one time....well, it does happen quite often but not like this certain time. We were out at anchorage for a MONTH due to complications, delay of cargo to be precise. Everyone onboard always brings along about 2 cartons of cigarette when we leave on a voyage. but nobody guessed this certain one would last a month without getting to touch land.

Not only were we running out of food and water, but most importantly(for most ppl anyway) we were short on cigarettes. the quickest puffers the earliest. Pretty soon everyone was getting sick.....for a puff. Upto the point where arguments and lashing outs were a daily habit. Just then, there were rumours that someone onboard still had some. Everyone rushed to him at once and started bidding. The guy had no intention of selling but then again everyone and everything has a breaking price.

How much did the winner of the bid pay? Rf350. Here in Male' we can get a carton for Rf155. thats more than TWICE that amount. i know i know, ur thinking its not that much to pay considering its jes twice the price and there was a shortage. but here's the catch. the price of Rf350 WASNT for a carton.......it was for a single packet. Yes! a single packet consisting of 20 cigarettes was sold for the price of 400 cigarettes. Thats Rf17.5 for a single cigarette which would last what......2-3mins? But then again....its just another day at sea where weird stuff happens all the time. Like they say "sometimes reality can be stranger than fiction".

Yet Another Useless Theory

Ive thought of writing this one for almost 2 months now but due to certain inconsistencies in it at the time, didn’t want to post it. But now things have changed in favor of this so called theory at the cost of diminished hopes and dreams of many with shocking changes in our views.

Applying to everyone who was born after 1980 and after you’ve reached 18years of age(wanted to say 20 here, but lets leave it at that), there are five outcomes for a relationship within 2 years.
1) You’d get married
2) One of the two starts cheating
3) You’d have sex
4) You’d breakup
5) (open for suggestion)

So in short, in order for a relationship to survive for more than two years sex has to come into play. Sex is the one major issue which keeps a relationship stable or together, screw love and the rest of em. Doesn’t work that way. Not anymore as times have changed. Love and the rest of em comes on the side now. Apparently now love can only be shown or received through sex. hehe.

Ofcourse there are exceptions. Cos lets face it. You cant really say that you’ve been in a relationship for 2 yrs if you’ve been abroad studying for 1 and a half years without being able to meet. Or if you’re unable to meet your partner even once a week. Because if so, then ‘choice’ has already been taken out of the equation. Disappointingly enough, I haven’t yet come across a relationship which proved this so called theory wrong……almost did though. But I sure hope there are ppl out there who’s proved it wrong.

The truth about marriage and how it turns out most of the time.(part 2 of 2)

He goes out to work everyday and meets single women of all ages and in this society we live in age difference is no longer an issue. Not to mention the fact that women seem to be getting much hotter as the newer generations come to age. So the women he meets at his work place or elsewhere are much younger, hotter, erotic and more tempting than his wife had ever been. And nowadays its not rare to see women hitting on men. We see it all the time. Not to mention married men even having sex with girls of only 18yrs old…..with them knowing that the guy is married. Girls are hitting on older men with higher paying salaries and the above average ranking men in society as well. Afterall, women want someone who can take care of them and make their lives easier. Plus the guy keeps on making empty promises about how he’s gonna divorce his wife for this girl and blah blah blah, which the girl foolishly falls for later on justifying to herself that she was jes young and “growing up”.

Sooner or later the guy breaks and gives in to his lust. The title “married” doesn’t stop him anymore. “No one needs to know” comes into play. And once he starts he cant stop anymore. Better yet most men get away with it for years to come. In the rare occasion he does get caught that’s when he can once again use his kids to his advantage. Now the wife is thinking “what would happen to my kids if I get a divorce now? I have to think about them and stop being so selfish. Not just that. What about me? Im not half as attractive as I used to be. Who would take me if I leave my husband? I would most probably be a single mother my whole life. I can somewhat understand that it is my fault as well. Afterall, im not able to satisfy him fully anymore”. So then the husband jes tells her that he wont cheat on her again, makes a few promises, has sex with her a couple of times and then when all is forgiven he’s back at it again.

The wife cant even complain anymore, cos as soon as the husband realizes he is in power or that she is in need of him, he starts taking advantage of it. It might be unintentional at first. He is rarely home, there’s arguments all the time, threats of divorcing her. Some other single men actually take advantage of this critical time of arguments and so and so to make empty promises to these women. Women rarely tell their female friends that her husband isn’t sleeping with her anymore. So when this new guy shows an interest in her, she spills out all her sorrows onto him. In return the guy keeps assuring her that she is extremely hot and that he would do her any day. When this goes on for a while, she then has sex with him out of insecurity and to get that old rush back. But almost every single time in the end the guy leaves her when he has had his fill and she is back in her hopeless marriage regretting what she had done but unable to tell anyone about it out of shame. She starts wondering what in the world happened to that wonderful man she fell madly in love with and got married to. But now its too late for that and its now time to cherish those good times and accept the current one saying that its jes how life works.

But if she is lucky sex with that single guy turns out great which leads to it repeating over and over again. and if everything works out well(rarely does) she now has the upper hand over her husband and wont hesitate to get a divorce. Because by now this single guy is willing to marry her if she gets a divorce. But she can never be sure until she gets that divorce. And the thought that “he approached and had sex with a married woman. What’s going to stop him from doing it with someone else after he marries me?” doesn’t come to mind. Even if it does, it is easily brushed off with the justification “what we have is different and special. He truly loves and cares for me”.

And it feels as if things would be a lot worse lets say 10-20 years from now as nowadays cheating is a very common thing even among relationships as most of them are aware that they can get away with it. And now its not jes men, but even women are at it. So jes imagine how they would be a couple of years from now when they all get married and have kids of their own.

I realize that the post is quite pessimistic but then again this is indeed what happens to the majority of marriages even if the whole cycle doesn’t complete. Atleast most people have the luxury to live blindly and not even be aware that either their husband or wife cheats on a regular basis which actually might be a good thing that its not found out. *shrug* 

The truth about marriage and how it turns out most of the time.(part 1 of 2)

You spend your youth being with one girl after the other while telling yourself that you were either in love or had something special with each and every girl you were with. But due to faults from one side or the other, or due to dissatisfaction in one thing or the other your relationships come to an end. All the while you keep telling yourself that someone much better will come along. But each relationship is new and different in their own way. They all have their ups and downs. Before long you realize that the people around you are getting married one after the other. Some of them have started having kids. You feel as if your biological clock is ticking and have this need or urge to follow the saying “monkey see monkey do”. Your relatives are bugging you and so are your friends. Pretty soon your current girlfriend starts nagging as well…..cos she feels that HER biological clock is ticking much faster. Both of you want to enjoy married life. A life where you can have legal sex and be around each other more. Since currently its only a relationship, you seem to have certain restrictions. Be it that your gf doesn’t let you get into her pants for fear of god o sumthing else, or be it that you aren’t able to have sex as much as you want to, or meet as often as you want to. Both of you seem to be in the prime of your youth. You feel that if you do get married all those problems can be solved.

You feel that you’re ready for a marriage all the while knowing that your lust for women as a whole will always be there. But you tell yourself that everything will change once you’re married. You tell yourself that she is indeed “the one”. So you get married in the end. If you look you’ll see that the majority of ppl who go into an early marriage are ones that believe in sex after marriage. So the really religious ones marry earliest, the moderate ones marry a bit later and those ppl who doesn’t believe in sex after marriage and who does it while being in relationships marry the last.

Then ofcourse either the guy or the girl has that need to keep the other faithful. Marriage apparently seems to have an effect on how much a person will stay faithful. Better to tie the knot fast in order to keep him or her from cheating on you with some other guy as its not a big deal to breakup a relationship but it’s a lot complicated when one decides to get a divorce. There will also be a lot of other factors to think about if you’re married.

Marriage is usually followed by wonderful days. Some things can be quite difficult to handle once you start living together. But the sex and the freedom is worth it all. After all, now you’re doing it 3-4 times a day. As the weeks turn into months you realize that the number of times you have sex has been reduced. Its to be expected. It might still be great but its not as important anymore as it used to be. Because even if its sex you keep on having the same thing over and over again. You soon realize you have the need to spice it up and try different things to fully satisfy yourself and her. Those problems or difficulties of marriage that you’ve pushed down, now seems like they are getting more and more difficult to tolerate…..more difficult to compromise….even if little by little.

Then comes the point where either the husband or the wife starts feeling as if they are growing apart. That’s when the baby talk starts. Ofcourse there will also be the want to have kids as well. Pretty soon the kid is what keeps the parents together. This is why marriage rarely works if the couple waits more than a few years(lets say abt 5yrs) to have a kid.

But it seems having a kid is like a double edged blade. As along with the baby comes a lot of other stuff. The wife starts to have saggy boobs and a similar bum. Stretch marks have already appeared all over. And to top it off the responsibility of having a kid comes into play as well. All of which in turn has a tremendous effect on your sex life. The already deteriorating sex life gets even more complicated. The wife is too busy with the baby and too tired when the baby’s asleep. The husband starts making joking comments(at first it appears as jokes) about her looks fading which actually makes the matter worse. By now even if sex is very important to the guy, sex with his wife aint anymore….not as much as it used to.

Relativity of Compromise

A small theory(cant really be called one though) I shared with a couple of friends one night we had an overnight(alson, shabeen and zee-man) at al’s place. After I explained this so called theory we came up with a name for it which came out sumthing like “the relativity of compromise” :s .A simple Question. We always talk about who the better half of a relationship is when we see one. Whether if it’s the girl or the guy. Now the question is “How do you determine who the better half of the relationship is?”. Using the relativity of compromise, the answer is quite simple. The better half is determined by finding out whom among the couple makes the greater compromise. Obviously one person will always compromise more than the other. And that person is automatically known as the better half of that relationship. Which ofcourse means that if a person compromises very little, the other person has to compromise a lot to make it work or balance. Which brings us to the next Question “How does one determine when its time to break up?”. And here’s the answer. When you aren’t willing to compromise more than your current level and when the partner isn’t compromising as much as you want him/her to. That’s when you realize that its not going to work out anymore and push for a breakup.

Likewise if two people who cant get along at all will both need to compromise a lot for it to work out. So somewhere along the way one of them encounters the answer to the second Question I asked and breaks it off. And two people who get along very well will both probably compromise very little which makes theirs an easy relationship. So now try to measure all those problems and stuff in your relationship using this relativity of compromise and ull see that it makes a lot of sense. For example lets say you want a girl who is extremely hot with a stunning body and who has a great personality. And lets say you meet someone who that stunning body but doesn’t quite have the personality bit…if for example to be specific lets say you want her to be caring and funny. Lets say the only thing she doesn’t have is being funny. Now it comes down to if you are willing to compromise that or not. It depends on your level of compromise. Hope you got what im trying to say here. So try it out. But ofcourse keep in mind that the level of compromise from either side can change in the course of that relationship which means the partner has to adjust his/her level of compromise or break up.

P.S- im trying to make my posts shorter *whistle*