Fire Fighting

We recently had an advanced fire fighting course done. Believe me. Theres a HUGE difference from what we see in movies and the real thing. There was a replica of a part of a ship with three compartments and a tunnel. The whole purpose of the course was to train us to be a scene leader and incharge of such an operation and exposure to different scenarios. So each time, four guys would be allocated to be the fire teams(two in each team), who would go prep up for entry by putting on all the protective wear and breathing apparatus. The others would be helping with the boundary cooling(spraying of water from the outside to bring about a cooling effect and also used to find the locations of the burning fires inside).

When the first team had gotten ready, their air cylinder pressures would be taken to calculate an estimated amount of time they would be able to be inside before their air ran out. At first I thought it would be simple. I mean afterall, you go in there with the hose and just put out the fire right? And then you look around for the missing persons(dummys) and just carry them out one by one. How hard can it be right?

Well, one guy’s holding the fire hose and a torch while the other guy is helping him with the hose and maintaining communication with the outside. But the minute you go in there with this rather heavy gas cylinder on your back with a tight gas mask on your face, helmet, fire jacket and gloves on, its obviously really difficult to move about as you would without them. Its dark as hell in there. Not to mention the heat that can be felt despite the jacket and protective gear. Even when you shine the torch, its light reaches only about one and a half feet away from the torch due to all the smoke that’s continuously being released from the blazing fire. And you haven’t even located the fire yet. So you’re moving step by step dragging all these stuff along with you, feeling around with your feet and hands trying to find casualties in there(who are supposedly unconscious as they are dummies ofcourse). Your heartbeat is racing. You’re feeling claustrophobic and its hot as hell. By now you’re basically panting meaning that you’re using up more and more air.

So once you’ve finally located the fire you put on the hose and actually have to go at it till the fire is completely extinguished as its really easy for the fire to burn up again after a couple of seconds if you don’t. Once your air is almost replenished, you make your way back step by step trying not to hit urself against a pipe or trip over. When you’re out, the next team goes in and you’re supposed to change the cylinders with new ones and prepare the sets after doing all the necessary checks and make ready to go back in as soon as the other team comes out. It was excruciating. But by the end of the next day we had gotten pretty used to it and found easier ways to deal with the problems we face while in there. So overall I guess it was a really exciting course.

And to think that these were controlled fires that couldn’t spread more than a certain area. Not to mention the fact that by the time you go in there a few times, you’re familiar with the place and more aware of where to search and the layout of the spaces and floors. But still it was a huge challenge. Now I think of all those real fires which are ALOT bigger in size, temperature and magnitude that are occurring. The firefighters are going into places they have never seen before in their entire life with ALOT more smoke having the fear that the roof or floor might cave in at any given time. Not to mention how rapidly fires can spread and grow. So my hats off to all the brave firefighters who actually risk their own lives DAILY, jes so that they could rescue complete strangers. Good luck to all the guys who did the course. Great job out there. Hope the crew I have to work with are as competent and reliable as you guys. 

To tell or not to tell

Im sure uve been in a situation where someone has come asking for your advice regarding his relationship. You had reliable information that he was being cheated on which you felt he should know about. The first time round you tell him honestly what you know and how you know and give your opinion about it. You could care less about the other person in the relationship. Lets say your friend listens to you, makes up his decision and goes off. But in the end he goes and does the complete opposite of it even when he found out you were telling the truth. Furthermore he rats you out saying you were the one who told him what had been hidden to him and had adviced him to do this and this, BUT how he overcame it and chose to do the opposite all for love. You jes let it slide saying he was weak and that he'd regret it later which he does. Because like we say "effulhah mathin fummaali bakari aneh fulhah mathinves fummaalaane". And that ccomes to bite your friend in the arse after things had messed up alot.

Later on the same kind of problem happens with another friend. This cycle continues and after a couple of rather disappointing scenarios you look back. And you see that for example only two person from the six ppl that came for that advice actually took it. the others all regretted it later but in the process burnt ur arse and made you turn out to be the bad guy. But the only two friends who actually took the advice were ever so thankful.

But then you start thinking about the whole thing. Whether if its really worth it all. You ask yourself why in the world you're getting involved. Would it have been better if you had jes kept out of it? Or jes pretended you didnt know anything? You start changing your views about it. Because as for the last one who came, you told him that you've encountered this problem before. That this and this had happened. That you didnt want to get involved in it....telling him the scenarios one of which was bound to happen, all in which you would turn out to be the bad guy. But you also feel that since he is your friend you have a right to tell him the truth and let him decide for himself what to do from thereforth no matter how messy it might get. so due to his persistence you tell him what you know and it turned out you were right again. One of the scenarios you explained came to be afterall. So then you start thinking. Screw it! You could care less about what happened. Its not your life, its not your problem. They've got a brain, they can think up a way and act on their own.

Then suddenly out of nowhere and more than a year after the incident one of those friends who had listened to you and was grateful for it sends you an sms. Thanking you for what you did back then. That he was grateful for it saying that now he realises jes how tough it wouldve been for you back then. All the doubts in your mind when you push yourself to come to that decision without simply brushing it off. As he had now faced that same situation with a friend of his.

So think about it all a bit. Was it really worth it all for those two that emerged despite the other four that didnt? Do you think you shouldnt have told any of them?It surely wouldve been easier and less complicated for you that way. Think deep about it all before you come to that decision. :)

Lying and Cheating in a Marriage(2 of 2)

By now she is complaining to her friends as well that this and that is happening to her life and marriage seeking comfort from them on what to do and how to proceed. Complaining what an asshole her husband is and how could he be doing this to her and their child. They all give her the advice she needs. She listens to it all and assures them that she would stand her ground. But everytime at the very end she turns tail and runs off being subdued by the husband. And ends up saying that she doesn’t have proof that she is being cheated on, and that she has to think about her child and whats to become of him if she were to get a divorce. She starts having doubts if anyone would accept her as after the divorce she would come in a package. She is afraid of a lot of things which are quite understandable.

Now I come to the point of all this. Look ppl. If u wanna get a divorce and don’t want to live in a life filled with lies and cheating anymore, quit your whining and do something about it. Make a stand and actually walk the walk. But if ur too weak or decide to say “im doing this for my child and I still don’t have solid proof”, then quit whining about your husbands. We’d agree that you aren’t being cheated on and that everythin would be great if that’s what you really wanna hear. So go back to living that life in denial with that voice in the back of ur mind telling you over and over again that ur being lied to and that ur being cheated on. Im sure even if u saw ur husband butt naked with another woman you would find some way to convince yourself otherwise. Women all over the world are being oppressed and taken advantage of by men. Why? Don’t blame it on the men. You let yourselves be in that situation. No one can change that life for you until you make a stand for it. So don’t go around blaming men for your mistakes.

Now id like to direct you to something “dhondhooni” wrote on her blog
“there's this couple. they had been married atleast for more than 8 years. they have four kids too. what happened is that, recently this lady had a miscarriage during the fourth month of her pregnancy and apparently she had some bleeding problem for quite a number of days. [during which apparently they wouldn't be doing THE sexual stuff].

here comes the best part. apparently, this lady got so depressed about not being able to satisfy his man sexually, she actually went [at noon] and brought some girl FOR her husband to satisfy him! yes, this is true!” –dhondhooni.blogspot.com-
P.S- to all those ppl who had experienced such a thing happening to a friend of yours. Don’t butt in. Give them your advice as a friend and let things be from that part on. Don’t try to be a saint or convince her over and over again. There’s no use trying to fill water into a tank with a hole in it if she isn’t willing to put the plug on that hole. Mind your own business and step aside before u get hit with “you cant possibly understand my situation. I have a child and im married”. It’s the same if it’s the other way around and that it’s the wife who is doing the cheating. Unfortunately I met a guy with 2 kids whose wife was shagging the young man who was brought to their place to help with the house chores. He would sometimes come home to hear her shagging him on his bed. He would sit down and wait in the sitting room until they finish. All for the sake of his two kids. She would actually know her husband is outside but would finish up before coming out. Sad and pathetic.

Lying and Cheating in a Marriage(1 of 2)

First off, I would like to say that this post isn’t about a specific couple in particular. But feel free to think its about you if you really want to. :P

Guy meets girl. They fall in love. Make out and have sex. Leads to a lovely marriage with a wonderful wedding. Lots of shagging at first. Seems like both of them cant get enough of each other. Doing it on the bed, table, chair, roof, elevator, staircase, in the ocean. You name it. Full of ‘love’. Pretty soon most of them give birth to a beautiful baby. So cute and adorable. They’ve created life from their love for each other. A family of their own. But somewhere along this beautiful and wonderful journey something happens which leads to something totally unexpected. The sex has greatly decreased. Upto the point where you feel like you have to actually ask for it or even beg for it. When you have to actually persuade your husband into it. This is usually experienced by the wife in particular.

Pretty soon you notice that he takes longer at work, goes to more coffees and spends more time outside. Why no sex? “im tired honey”. “don’t feel like it tonight”. His phone bill starts rising(that’s if by then the wife is allowed to see the bills). He suddenly puts a password on his phone and grows more distant from her. No more “I love you” or any of those romantic stuff that he used to do. She starts worrying. She knows that she doesn’t look the same after giving birth. She starts feeling insecure and in the back of her mind she hears a soft voice say that her beloved is cheating on her. But how can that be? SHE is the love of his life. Not to mention their baby who seems to be growing up so fast. No way. That’s jes being silly and stupid!

One day she starts noticing the weird actions of the ppl she know. Her friends and relatives act all weird around her. One day one of them bears the strength to come up to her and tell her that her husband has been seen with a particular girl all over the place. At restaurants, coffees, cycle rides etc. She is confused and gets mad at her friend yelling at her as she cant bring herself to believe it to be true. But she knows deep inside that so many ppl wont be thinking it and saying it if there weren’t some truth to it.

When her husband comes back home she tells him that these certain ppl (including names) have said this and that about him. So whats the truth? He smiles and tells her not to listen to them. That they are trying to come inbetween them, reassures her how much he loves her and their child. That night she has wonderful sex with her husband after a long time and by the next morning she has a huge smile on her face and she has dismissed everythin she had heard against him. But in time small things start revealing themselves. Like seeing an sms he had received from a girl and one he had sent, an email he received/sent, him speaking to some girl late at night while she was asleep, her friends seeing her husband taking a girl to a guesthouse,etc. Everything leads to an argument which ends in him justifying his actions with some lame excuse that doesn’t even make sense, a bunch of lies which later is found out followed by the previous reassurance and sex and this time it comes with apologies and asking for second chances as this time he had been caught lying to her.