Remember how your love life was like at the beginning? The very first couple of girls you dated or hit on. How crazy you were for her. How romantic all your ideas were. You’d be giving her treats and buying her flowers occasionally. You’d be doing romantic stuff for her which you never imagined you would ever attempt. You’d be totally in love with the girl and be absolutely sure that its really love. Something special about that certain girl which makes her stand out. Then you’d finally win her over. You begin to experience life as you’ve never felt before. Longing to always be with her. Longing to see her or even hear her voice. It would be like everything else in your life was aligning as well.
Then comes the breakup. Something you never expected would happen. I mean this was the perfect girl. So how could it end? This was supposed to be that special girl who stood out. And everything was going rather smoothly. No matter how hard you try and how hard you fight it, the relationship comes to an end. You fall into despair. Feeling sick of life. As if your whole life had just come crashing down. But in time after a lot of struggling you manage to get over her and move on.
You start meeting new people. And you meet someone special again. But this time you lower your expectations. You lower the effort you put into pursuing her affection. Those romantic stuff you did last time……that feeling has gone down a lot. Especially that feeling you had of really wanting to do those romantic stuff. So has the hopes and effort you put into that relationship. The extent of your patience, sacrifice and compromise is diminishing as well. Before you know it you’ve broken up with her too. Except this time you don’t really care. And the cycle goes on. But each time it becomes less real. The image of the girl’s you date are slowly changing to the extent where you refer to her as your current ‘girl’. She’s pretty much lost her identity. She is now jes another girl whom you have around to fulfill your loneliness and desires. Sometimes you do romantic stuff for her. But this time you do it not because you really want to, but this time you’re doing it because you want to extend the expiry date of the relationship. And also because you know that she would make it up to you afterwards which is actually the real reason why you were being romantic now.
So why do most guys do that? Is it because they got hurt when they really meant it and now they refuse to get emotional again? Or have they really lost it? Or maybe cos now they don’t have to put in much effort to get what they want out of the girl? That would surely explain why 90% of married men loose their romantic side. Or even maybe that girls aren’t so important anymore as he’s jes discovered that there’s a whole ocean full of them to a ratio of three girls for every guy? Or was it four? Don’t remember.
Or maybe he doesn’t want to get hurt again.
Now imagine that same guy falls in love again. It had been so long since he last felt that way. All those emotions that he had pushed down are rising up again. That side of him that he had locked away has come back. Why? Maybe he feels that this girl is more than worth it all. Maybe he feels that the girl is worth taking that risk. Maybe he wants to give this certain girl his all for a change. If it works out well….Hallelujah? what if it doesn’t? Can you then really blame the guy if he goes around shagging women after that? If he refuses to let himself be emotional or to really fall in love ever again? Jes how many wives are 100% sure that their husband truly loves them? Do they really think that jes because the guy chose her to get married to and start a life with that he truly loves her? What if he has taken the next step(getting married) in life after skipping the “madly falling in love with the girl” step? Is he thinking “she’s good in bed. I guess she’ll do”. Or maybe “She’s the faithful type. She’ll do fine”. OR “she’s dumb and will believe everything I say to her. She’s perfect!”.
Jes as there are a lot of men who doesn’t know much about women, there are also a lot women who don’t know about men. Especially the ones they are with. So now the question which arises is “How do you know that the guy really means what he’s saying or doing? How do you know if he’s jes saying what you want to hear? Maybe it depends on jes how much effort he puts into what he does or says? All I have to say about that is “you’ll probably know it when you see it. You’ll KNOW for sure that he wouldn’t have gone this far or put himself in such a vulnerable and embarrassing situation if he really didn’t mean it. That pride thing is a huge deal for guys”.
On a different note, here’s a question. “When would a girl know for sure if the guy really loves her for who she is or not?” My opinion or answer to that is when she looses her looks. Maybe when she gets a kid or looses her sex appeal. *shrug*. So when does a guy know for sure if the girl truly loves him for who he is? When he looses his money? Who knows. What do you think?
